Have you ever walked up to an ATM, confident, ready to withdraw your hard-earned money, only for it to humble you in the worst way possible? Ah yes, the great battle between man and machine—a fight where the ATM almost always wins. An now, the FG wants to supercharge these ATMs with more powers. How unfair!
Well, At first, things seem normal. You insert your card, punch in your PIN, and select your desired amount. You even smile at the screen, believing today will be different. But then, disaster strikes.
- The “Network Error” Betrayal
“Unable to dispense cash at this time.” But why? The ATM beside it is working just fine! You even hear it happily spewing out crisp naira notes for someone else. Why does the machine discriminate against you specifically? - The Mysterious Card Swallow
You’re just standing there, minding your business, and suddenly—your ATM card is gone. No warning. No explanation. Just vibes. The machine acts like it was hungry and your card was lunch. Now, you must enter the dreaded banking hall to argue with the customer service rep, who will casually tell you, “Come back in three working days.” - The Account Balance Humiliation
The worst betrayal. You know you had money. You were so sure! But somehow, your account balance says, ₦342.67. Now you’re left pressing buttons like a fool, hoping money will miraculously appear. The ATM even has the audacity to print out the slip, like it’s mocking you.
But the real twist? Just as you’re about to walk away in shame, someone behind you steps up, inserts their card, and the machine works perfectly—dispensing wads of cash like Santa Claus.
At this point, you realize ATMs aren’t just machines. They have personal beef with some of us. And unfortunately, you’re on the blacklist.
